the underwear tiger: issue no. 3

buddy search 2012, page 1

 

buddy search 2012, page 2

 

buddy search 2012, page 3

 

buddy search 2012, page 4

 

buddy search 2012, page 5
Very important note to self:
Do not use watercolours on un-special paper ever again. Invest in proper materials!!!!!

And a very special thank-you to Evan for scanning these pictures for me. Twice! That was very nice of him, and I am horrible for complaining about the barely-noticeable cropped edges ūüôĀ So here is my public apology. Which you probably won’t read.

Anyway! …

 

buddy search 2012, preview

the underwear tiger: issue no. 2

tales of the underwear tiger: the cat in the tree
what does this old guy want from the underwear tiger?

Hello to my handful of loyal readers! Thank you for clicking in today. So remember that time I told you about the new baby, who turned into the Underwear Tiger?¬†Well, he grew up and some old guy summoned him today. Find out what happened next in Tales of the Underwear Tiger: The Cat in the Tree! (If you click on each image, it’ll open up and be bigger and better. I’ll figure out how to keep them from shrinking in the future, maybe.)

tales of the underwear tiger: the cat in the tree
tales of the underwear tiger: the cat in the tree
tales of the underwear tiger: the cat in the tree

Thank you for looking at this story. If you’re feeling a little bad for our pal the Underwear Tiger and you wish to leave him some words of encouragement, post a comment below and I will gladly pass it along to him!!!!! I promise!!!!!!!!!

are you the light of my life?

On Friday evening, I had a sudden whim to make a lamp.

Evidence:

me: want to make a lamp with me?
Evan: of course I do
me: SWEET.

 
This is the lamp that we made out of garbage, essentially. (click to enlarge)

we made this lamp by ourselves
homemade lamp

And here’s how we made it:

First, we collected some materials and tools:

  • a¬†make-a-lamp kit from Canadian Tire
    • this lamp kit assumes you’re making one of those wine bottle lamps, which we weren’t
    • in the future, I’d probably buy the components individually instead of the kit
  • a lamp harp
  • a glass/tile drill bit for drilling holes in glass
  • a CFL light bulb
  • the bottle left over from this delicious limeade
  • four boxes of crappy pencil crayons from Dollarama (4 x 12 = 48; didn’t use black or white)
  • some twigs
  • sticks for a hot glue gun
  • hot glue gun
  • some canvas
  • a wire hanger
  • random crafting wire

… and got to work.

** First things first:¬†Evan is my favourite person to do random craft projects with, because he’s willing to do ALL the dangerous stuff, like drilling glass, lifting heavy objects, mixing hazardous materials, and other things I’m hesitant to try. In fact, he’s not only willing ‚ÄĒ I’m pretty sure it fills him with manly glee. **

Anyway, first we went outside,¬†where Evan drilled a hole in the bottom of the bottle for the wiring to go through. The glass dust smelled kind of toxic. I regret inhaling it. The cat next door kept trying to hang out with us but I told it to go away because it’s cute and so I wanted to protect it from the glass particles.

Then we had to shorten the pencil crayons because I wanted the crystal-looking part of the bottle to show. Sharpening 44 pencil crayons is no easy task ‚ÄĒ just ask the blister on my middle finger. ūüôĀ Eventually, I figured out that cutting the pencils to the right length before sharpening them was much more ergonomic and efficient than trying to sharpen them to half their height.

dollarama pencils, canvas lampshade, lamp, diy lamp, wiring kit
the crystal stuff that i wanted to keep exposed by shortening the pencils

And then we hot-glued the pencil crayons to the bottle. I didn’t feel like using the black and white pencils, so we collected some twigs and whittled them down to look like pencils and glued them into the space that needed filling.

dollarama pencil crayons, twigs, lamp, lamp shade, diy lamp
four of these things are not like the other

Then Evan affixed the lamp components and stuff to the top of the bottle. The lamp looked cool but very, very naked, so I spent a long time Googling “how to make a lampshade” and such, but most of the DIY tutorials assume that you already have a lampshade that you want to make over, which we didn’t. I had no luck finding a good one at the Value Village/op shop around the corner. What to do, what to do???

Here’s what I did:

I fashioned two big rings from the one wire hanger I could find at home, and used some random crafting wire to make a sloppy mounting thingy for the upper ring so that the lampshade could sit on top of the harp thingy. Then I glued the canvas to the wire rings with the glue gun. I didn’t really measure or try to do any part of this with precision, so the fabric puckers in some spots and isn’t a true cylinder. You know, I’m not even sure that the rings are the same size.

poor wiring job
poor wiring job

The whole thing looks tragically handmade, but so does the rest of my workspace, so whatever. It was very fun and it gave me something to write home about.

And so, I leave you with a picture of Kermit praising the godly new lamp.

kermit praising god
kermit praising god

I’ll let you know if the lamp catches fire. I wasn’t very sure about the canvas shade, but so far, so good.

Thank you for reading my blog post. Coming soon… a new story about the Underwear Tiger, who has it out for the wind we had in Toronto on Saturday because it blew the underwear off his head and made him feel very, very naked. Poor baby!

how kool is this?

green!

Did you know that you can dye yarn with Kool-Aid? IT’S TRUE. Like, if it worked on your hair as a badass tween, then it should work on all kinds of other natural fibres, right? Right. Logic! Anyway¬†I found two really useful-looking tutorials at knitty¬†and¬†snowangels.com, with Kool-Aid palettes that are really to dye for (get it? dye?). I say these are useful-looking because I haven’t actually tried this Kool-Aid dyeing process myself yet. But I am dyeing to.

I’ve never even had¬†Kool-Aid before!

Sadly, the only colours I could find (or flavours, rather) in the one supermarket I checked out were grape, cherry, and orange. Boring. Like, where were lemon lime explosion and electric blue raspberry?

cherry & tropical punch
cherry & tropical punch, from halimeade’s flickr stream

Anyway! Before I found out about this awesome dyeing process, I bought some yarn from KnitPicks to make this Super Easy Baby Blanket, in these colours here:

owbrain blankie. (owbrain? rainbow? get it? ‘cos the colours are all mixed up?)

Wouldn’t those look even better in shades of Kool-Aid??? You might have already guessed my inspiration. In case you weren’t sure, I was inspired by one particular¬†Google image search result for “eric carle”:

eric carle cotton fabric, hijacked from apartment therapy

Now I eagerly await a package from Canada Post.

As you can tell, I am reviving this blog. Don’t be sad, though — I won’t just be writing about knitting. Stay tuned for posts about my hunt for good Kool-Aid colours, the cartoons I’m watching, things I’m working on, and maybe even some photos from when I open the parcel of rainbow yarn. Yay!

dentist kitty

cat with teeth potion

A promise from a kitten is
a promise always kept.
Impossible! That can’t be so!
But listen, how I wept!:
A street cat one day promised me
a mouth so clean and bright.
No cavities! No tooth decay!
And not a stain in sight!
“Throw out your toothbrush!” he exclaimed.
So throw it out I did.
I mean, who likes to brush her teeth?
I know of no such kid!
The cat gave me a potion black
to gargle at the sink.
“Just gargle this before you sleep,”
he told me with a wink.
I took it home, the tarry vial,
and waited for the night.
And when it fell, I drank the goop
and gargled with delight…
A future free from dental care?
My favourite fantasy!!!!!
But then I felt a tiny itch
upon my naked knee.
As I looked down, oh horror! Ach!
I saw the wicked cat!
Somehow it’d crept into my house!
I very nearly spat!
But I didn’t want the blackened goo
to stain the porcelain sink…
And so as though I had a choice,
I swallowed up the the drink.
The cat threw back its head with glee
as I fell to the floor.
I checked the inside of my mouth —
My teeth! They were no more!
Impossible! That can’t be so!
But listen, how I wept!:
A promise from a kitten is
a promise always kept.

snow kitty

A kitten came down from the sky,
from Heaven up above.
It fluttered slowly, slowly down
and fell into my glove.
Its fur was white, its mews so soft,
an angel in my grasp.
I tickled it beneath the chin
but soon I had to gasp…
for as I looked I came to see
I’d made a big mistake.
This was no cat! But a grotesque,
misshapen, wild snowflake.
Its points were mangled, bent and weird,
offending my poor soul.
It violated symmetry!
I threw it in a hole.
I watched it writhe, I watched it thaw,
that devil dressed in white.
Its shiny teeth gnashed up at me.
and tried to take a bite.
So take this as a warning fair
to save your precious pelt:
when kittens snow down from the sky,
don’t save them. Let them melt.

beard kitty

cat1

The other day I met a cat
whose fur was pink and tan.
I knelt to pat it, and it said:
“I thought you were a man!
From far away, upon your chin,
I saw a mass of hair.
But as you near to scratch my head,
I see no beard is there.”
He said this kindly, like a pal,
but still I found him crass.
I am a girl! I have no beard!
That kitten was an ass!
And so I sat upon the stoop,
and gave the cat a push,
when suddenly I yanked his tail
and threw him in a bush.
I kept the tail, a souvenir…
I know it might seem weird.
From time to time, I take it out
to wear it like a beard.

xoxo
Justina